Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Subaru Psychology

 Motor Trends named the Subaru Forester 2009 Sport Utility of the Year (see bottom video below).  Because of its four wheel drive and reasonable price ($31,000 fully loaded) the Forester is a good choice for a second car in the Catskills, where winding mountain roads and snowy winters are the norm.  For instance, my 1991 Ford Probe was unable to go up Overlook Mountain back in the winter of '98 (it couldn't get traction about half way up) and my Lexus went into anti-skid mode going downhill on the curvy Boiceville end of Piney Point Road last winter.  Plus, the Forester's ample rear cargo room is ideal for hauling trash, lawn products from the hardware store and other artifacts of rural life.

But there is a problem:  the Subaru "love" commercials.  A friend in Olivebridge, which is Subaru country (as is my neighboring West Shokan) points out that mainly left wingers, diesel dykes, people with bumper stickers that read "Women's Writers' Conference", transvestites in tu tus and hippies drive Subarus.  My friend takes issue with my buying a Subaru seeing that I view Republicans as a big government party and consider Democrats the party of Karl Marx.  See the two commercials below.  Clearly,  the Subaru love theme is problematic.  The Subaru is a car for vegetarians, not high cholesterol types like me.

After my friend made this observation I began checking out Subaru drivers. They are passive-aggressive.  Left (never right) turns in busy intersections; speeding up when you try to pass them on the NYS Thruway; erratic stops in the Village of Woodstock.  Passive-aggressive driving is characteristic of leftists, who are tolerant of all values and will lynch you if you disagree. Equally, left-wingers are plain bad drivers as any drive through Woodstock will confirm. The recognition that Subaru drivers are passive aggressive supports my friend's claim that they are tu tu clad granola crunchers as well.

But this argument leads me to the best reason to buy a Subaru. It is the perfect undercover vehicle. I can go to Woodstock, park in the lot behind the Houst hardware store, load up on rock salt, and no one will break my window.  Or, I can attend an Obama rally and everyone will think I'm really a supporter. Or visit the farmer's market in Woodstock. Or the next Arlo Guthrie concert in Bel Ayre.  An undercover vehicle has many uses around here.  Contrast that with a red Porsche.

The Subaru Forester is the perfect undercover car. 

1 comment:

Mairi said...

Hmmmmmm......you make the most interesting argument for buying one of these....ESPECIALLY in Illinois! I hadn't even realized it's potential for "undercover" capabilities. I may need to look into this further........